Only I Can Be Me's Blog

We’re going to the chapel…


And we’re going to get married! So I’ve been engaged for a year and a half and it’s time. No we still haven’t set a date but I’ve made up my mind. It’s time to either get married or move on. We live together, raise kids together, make financial and future decisions together…so why aren’t we married? I mean I’m feeling like the old saying goes, “why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free ?”. So not only have I picked out a date, only known to me, but I’ve told my fiancé I’ve done so. If we’re not married by that date, or at the very least, we’ve not set a date…I’m GONE. At first I thought that this idea may backfire and rush him into marriage when he’s but ready. Or make him feel as if I made him marry me but you know what it’s in his good interest as much as it is in mine. The point of dating is to one day be married, have children and love each other, together forever. I know I don’t want to be with anyone else and I know I can keep the vows I will make and he says he feels the same. So what are we waiting for? I feel like I’ve been through some rough times in this relationship and although the good certainly outweighs the bad I still feel like why am I trying so hard? Why am I putting in so much effort and treating him like we’re married when we’re not. I mean that’s the fact…we are NOT married. I’m upholding my vows to him and I HAVEN’T EVEN TAKEN THEM! Well I don’t think that’s fair and I’m not doing it for much longer. Like it was said in the movie “Think Like a Man”, he hasn’t married me because I haven’t REQUIRED him to. Well, damn it, I’m requiring it now! That date is set in my head and that’s it. I will start planning for a future apart and hope that doesn’t happen. It’s crazy to realize how intertwined you’re life can be with someone else’s until you’re made to think about it. … How much you’ve changed, as they have, to sync together. It’s painful to think of how my life will be or could be if we were no longer together. …Hopefully we won’t have to find out.

This entry was published on May 25, 2012 at 1:29 pm. It’s filed under Random and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

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